I worked over some if my scenes from my previous boarding attempt. I started at the “lantern” stanza as that was the area I was most unsatisfied with.
Based on what I’ve produced I’m happy with everything in this section up until the “beads” section. I think I need to go over that again tomorrow in class, but with the whole piece so I can keep steady timing.
The ending of her looking over the rows and rows of suburbia is an idea I want to continue with but I think I need to look at different ways of framing it to make it as effective as I want.